A shale slate chipped the surface diffusing the illusion of separation. Narcissus stood contemplating the pond in a paranoid wake trance. Who do you think you are? Interrogated a voice imploding the water, the witnesses reflections blurred into a whirlpool. You are not the clothes your wearing, your not the car your driving, nor the gangster rap mp3 that’s thumping synthetic black leather seat, nor are you the suburban 2 floor condo in a foreclosure block, nor are you the 1,000 brands of sneakers, purses, shoes and mauling perfumes. A spotted light blazing blindly tested eyelid stare as Narcissus gazed adoringly at his face book page, clinging to a photo of himself, he could not let go. You are not the identity that was given to you on your birth certificate; you are not the color of your skin, not a title on a card, not your career, not a nationality, not your friends, not the reflection in the mirror of life, caught up in the world of branding appearances.
You are not the actor in this cheap morbid pathetic western movie flick.
Nemesis the Greek goddess of vengeance, immobilized the surface disturbances with her palm. She stared condemning the waters murky, demanding payback; “In the me-first society renouncing to my whims is an attachment I am not willing to give up and I will do anything to be me,” begged Narcissus in denial.
Attachment’s to object based reality, creates the egoic selfless pathology that is shattering us all. Attached to the world of appearances, we become life-dependent on habit and reassuring addictive pleasure based illusions. We feel safe when the story of me keeps going on. Our whole mindset is attached to the continuity of self, 20-40 snapshots of consciousness per second.
Our attachment to people is somewhat different, especially when it comes from a place of compassion and the need to belong. This is not the same as attachment to approval, like when we did things to cajole our mothers. Family attachment’s can sometimes turn into twisted extensions of our psychological dysfunctions. But when attachment to living creatures is sincere and based on compassion, we promote care giving behavior and cooperative skills. The exercise in nurturing the young and caring for others, has led to a bigger brain. We are hardwired for empathy and heart felt reciprocity. You could argue that chimps take care of each other out of self-interest. As humans we have the capacity to do things without expecting return. You find yourself in the other. Yet it is easy to get lost in the myriad of appearances. Searching out there does not bring you the full appreciation of your whole-selfness. For the full kaleidoscopical picture of you, you must look inwards where there is no ego, no family, no self, no body, and no attachments.
The sum of my parts, leg, ear, jaw and teeth, heart, nose, blood cells and dendrites, does not add up to the whole of who you really are. You are not only a collective of cells, you are much more than that, you are the reciprocal whole-self.
The sub-atomic particles of your cells have always been there in a field of possibilities, interconnected, becoming different configurations of energy in the furnace of life. At night when we sleep, consciousness shuts off, this reality disappears, we shift into parallel universe transitions, where the entire body gets renovated. Out of the many dreams of wholeness you wake up never the same. The cell tissues of your body constantly regenerate. It is never the same configuration of systems. As cells die, atoms exchange through the body, duplicating transcriptors in a dancing flux.
We are like vessels navigating the cyclical cosmic river, the water along this river is never the same, it’s never the same river, it’s never the same you.
To discover selflessness, the real you must disappear in the flowing stream of wholeness.
When this happens we light up the neurological pathways of compassion grounding. This allows transformation from the source, the miracle of life, full of insight, creativity, grace, expressed in this most amazing vehicle, the gift that is you, capable of gratitude and compassion, where the whole world is in you.
When we shed the illusionary identity of I we will deactivate the wolf of hate inside the cave men run amok with weapons of mass extermination. Unlike Narcissus who was not only full of himself but also a slave to the reiteration of I, his face blurred and drowned in the sinking pool surface of fate.
Carlos Cuellar Brown
(image: via travelblog.org)